colour illusion

well first of all this post indicates that i suffer from a serious mental illness , it's just a thought that has been haunting me for a couple of days i have to let it out.

COLOURS !!
ok so here is the thought
what if we see colours differently , what if what i see blue ohter people see red
what if the wavelength of these rays of light and colour affect how these colours are tranlated in our brains
for example i see blue as BLUE what if another person sees what i see blue as BLUE
but i was taught that this colour is named blue , while that other person was taught that this colour means blue this way we can both be looking at the same colour each of us seeing it differently but at the same time we call it the same name
it's impossible to see through other people's eyes , so we can not put such a thought out of question


well , after reading this again i came to the conclusion that i am messed up real bad

people do not change

i believe that people do not change, they develop.
when a seed becomes a plant , it isn't due to change , it's due to growth and development
it's the same thing with humans, one cannot change. habbits may change, appearance, way of thinking,.. etc
however it is all due to the accumulation of experiences , for example, when some one is too romantic , then after a year, you meet him and he becomes so indifferent , did he change?!
no he didn't , maybe he got hurt and descided to think and feel things in a calmer way , but then he found that calm was not good enough so in another year he descided to be insenstive or cold.
he did not change he developed due to a life experience , this development or what people call change would've never happened if it wasn't for this accumulation of life experiences.

another example is people who became more selfish due to examples of selfish people who succeed and selfless people who end up miserable
and so on with examples that never end
simpy it's the jurney of life , DEVELOPMENT AND GROWTH
affects every creature in this world , plant, animal and indeed humans

my wizard

since my early childhood i always go for signs metaphores and wise talkings, and i think such things affected my personaloty so much and helped me shape my self a good deal.
one of these things was the Harry Potter series of books
the first book started when Harry was 11 , so was i when I first read it
and since then , every year in the cairo book faire, just a couple of months before my birthday , i go buy the new book of harry potter , he grows a year older , as do i
till i was 17 , that's when it all ended by the last page of the last book.

" you should have died , died rather than betray you friends, just as we would've done for you"
this is a quotation from the 3rd book ' prisoner of azkaban" it became my life motto for a very long time , and still is along with others

courage, strength, bending rules, having fun, loyalty , the eternal fight of good agains evil, honesty, love and frienship were things that harry potter carved in me year after year , page after page, book after book , he became my friend , his friends became my society and his dreams affected my dreams, i sure learned alot from the little little wizard friend of mine

thank you J.K. Rowling.

castles in the air

every now and then i jump into a new character, i live with the head of a different person and build the new circumstances that fits with it , in my head ofcourse.
the characters varie with accord to my mood but mostly they are drawn by either a book, a movie or anyone's life but mine;
so for long 7 years i was a which, affected by my beloved harry potter , that was PERFECT. i was raised up by this book, and I LOVE IT .

for some other time I was bella , and OH GOD what dreadfull time i had trying to live in romance , which all came in vain ofcourse, but learned alot of it which is " NOT TO READ ROMANCE OFTEN CUZ IF IT EVER HAPPENS THAT IT AFFECTS MY LIFE AGAIN IT WILL MISERABLE " :D

for some other time i was V , that was the most amazing time of my life , and when ever i watch that movie - which is too often- i live again in the character and the story for a long time , i like to believe that it is one very close to my real me , if there is a real me, and i would love it if this is really tha thack background and frame of my character and that the changes i'm speaking about here are only is a small manageable portion of me.

the picture of dorian gray was indeed a turning point in my life, it took me out of the short romance phase into phylosophy, and got me into understanding alot of things i wouldn't have understood till i was atleast 40 , so it was a great time savor. however, i cannot help but think that it made me a cold person for a while, it didn't make me sad , not at all i was so much satisfied from the inside but it kinda made me sober from the outside, at that phase people used to tell me that i seem 10 years older than my real age .

and now, the thing that made me write this was JOSEPHENE MARCH ,
i was reading little women last week, ana amazing book with a lottt of lectures however , never boring. calm and exciting , sad and joyfull, it's our every day lives as little women put down in the most beautiful manner in such a great book,
and every girl who reads this book will for sure see her reflection in the mirror of one of the four sisters, my mirror was almost screaming , JO.
it was great all through the novel to my reflection in the words , however i don't like the ending so much. and would so much love my castle in the air to land safely on ground. it made me a little anxious about by future though. but worrying wont change a thing and ia have came to a believe, - a while ago- that God has a wayyy better plan for me than all the castles in the air, and oh he is sooooo good at making such plans, so i shall leave it to him and live it as it is. and i shall accept it eitherways and hope i will like it.


Maybe i'm crazy a good deal, too moody, change into too many characters and swich lives often, but it is really amusing to live a thousand lives inside my own, to be many people in one lifetime, and to always have what i want , even if only in my head.

ذبابة على انف الملك

يحكى انه دخل احد الصالحين الحكماء على ملك قومه فوجده عابسا متأفإفا و قد كادت ذبابة تفقده عقله
و قال للحكيم بلهجة يملأها الضجر ( لا أدري لماذا خلق الله الذباب) , فرد الحكيم " أولا تدري؟" . قال الملك لا لا أدري
قال له الحكيم : لإذلال الملوك و إشعارهم بأنهم عبيد

MY FIRST RESOLUTION , the eve before my 20th birthday

1- I will pray more
2- I will read quor'an every day
3- i will take better care of my teeth
4- I will read at least two books a month
5- I will buy my self at least one puzzle a month
6- i will learn a new thing every week
7- i will be less selfish and more helpfull
8- i will exercise more
9- I will write at least once a week
10- I will do more voluntere work
11- i will lie less
12- I will smile more , like the ancient me.

may not all my dreams come true , for what a mess i will be living in if i had everything i wish for
may only the good dreams come true , and may my castles in the air have a safe land on the ground, may my heart never grow old, proud or weak .

فشوش

نسمة ربيع لكن بتكوي الوشـــــــوش
طيور جميلة بس من غير عشـــوش
قلوب بتخفق إنما وحـــــــــــــــــدها
هي الحياه كده .. كلها في الفاشوش
عجبي !!!!