castles in the air

every now and then i jump into a new character, i live with the head of a different person and build the new circumstances that fits with it , in my head ofcourse.
the characters varie with accord to my mood but mostly they are drawn by either a book, a movie or anyone's life but mine;
so for long 7 years i was a which, affected by my beloved harry potter , that was PERFECT. i was raised up by this book, and I LOVE IT .

for some other time I was bella , and OH GOD what dreadfull time i had trying to live in romance , which all came in vain ofcourse, but learned alot of it which is " NOT TO READ ROMANCE OFTEN CUZ IF IT EVER HAPPENS THAT IT AFFECTS MY LIFE AGAIN IT WILL MISERABLE " :D

for some other time i was V , that was the most amazing time of my life , and when ever i watch that movie - which is too often- i live again in the character and the story for a long time , i like to believe that it is one very close to my real me , if there is a real me, and i would love it if this is really tha thack background and frame of my character and that the changes i'm speaking about here are only is a small manageable portion of me.

the picture of dorian gray was indeed a turning point in my life, it took me out of the short romance phase into phylosophy, and got me into understanding alot of things i wouldn't have understood till i was atleast 40 , so it was a great time savor. however, i cannot help but think that it made me a cold person for a while, it didn't make me sad , not at all i was so much satisfied from the inside but it kinda made me sober from the outside, at that phase people used to tell me that i seem 10 years older than my real age .

and now, the thing that made me write this was JOSEPHENE MARCH ,
i was reading little women last week, ana amazing book with a lottt of lectures however , never boring. calm and exciting , sad and joyfull, it's our every day lives as little women put down in the most beautiful manner in such a great book,
and every girl who reads this book will for sure see her reflection in the mirror of one of the four sisters, my mirror was almost screaming , JO.
it was great all through the novel to my reflection in the words , however i don't like the ending so much. and would so much love my castle in the air to land safely on ground. it made me a little anxious about by future though. but worrying wont change a thing and ia have came to a believe, - a while ago- that God has a wayyy better plan for me than all the castles in the air, and oh he is sooooo good at making such plans, so i shall leave it to him and live it as it is. and i shall accept it eitherways and hope i will like it.


Maybe i'm crazy a good deal, too moody, change into too many characters and swich lives often, but it is really amusing to live a thousand lives inside my own, to be many people in one lifetime, and to always have what i want , even if only in my head.